2013 Fails.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Although you might think that everything turns out perfectly in my kitchen…you are very mistaken. Here are my fails for 2013.  
 Starting out with these….any guesses?  It was my attempt at homemade tater-tots. Grease bombs!
 While these pork chops look fantastic thanks to Mr. Schwartz's superior grilling skills…they tasted like…well, pork chops.  Bor-ing.
 Then I came back from vacation and needed, NEEDED malted waffles.  They turned out soggy.  I need a recipe…anyone have one!?
 I also made homemade brownies.  Look at how perfect they looked right out of the oven.
 30 seconds later.  Grr….
 I thought I would stuff brown butter chocolate chip cookies with Milky Way candy bars...
 Beyond crunchy outside…soggy gross inside.
 I made General Tso's Chicken. It tasted horrible.
 I attempted to make Orange Teriyaki Meatballs in the crockpot.  Terrible.
 Chicken Tortilla Soup.  Looks great, tastes just…Meh.  Didn't make the cut.
YUM this one was SO good.  Peppadew Pepper Calzones…but I was an idiot and took all of the pictures after the sun went down. I thought it would be okay but it wasn't.   So, they didn't make the cut. 
 I made a Veggie Alfredo Lasagna using no-cook noodles.  They never cooked.
 Loaded Baked Potato Dip.  Looks good, sounds good, BLAH no flavor.
 I made our hound, Rem, Peanut Butter Dog Treats.  He wouldn't eat them.
 I have to say, this Banana Snack Cake was good but, my mom has this recipe that has gone missing that is 100% better so I didn't post it.  She WILL find that recipe, we all need it.
 I made some "donuts." I think you can see why these didn't make it.
 I honestly can't really remember what these were…some little cakes I was going to make into Petite Fours I think…well...
 They didn't turn out.
 Wonton soup.  Pain in the ass…tasted like…..chicken broth.  BAH!
 Amazing Buttermilk Pancakes…I lost the recipe.
 Some type of Creamy Bacon Pasta…it was just meh.  Didn't make the cut.
 That time I made "Pourable Fondant" umm…YEAH RIGHT.  What a pain in the arce.
 Tacos Al Pastor.  Not.that.great.
 "Fluffy Cream Cheese Biscuits."  Really, FLUFFY!?
 Broccoli and Rice Casserole.  Not fantastic.
 Spicy Chicken Stir Fry…tasted like soy sauce.  And that's it.
 Coconut Chicken Fingers.  Made me want to vom. As in vomit.  I'm not kidding.
 Mongolian Beef using ground beef.  I made it with coconut oil and the meat kind of fried so it was crispy in texture.  So weird and totally not worth sharing.
Cilantro Lime Slaw.  Tasted like 500 limes and nothing else.  Bah.

So that's what didn't work out this year in the kitchen!  I have lots and LOTS of fun things planned for this year that will (hopefully) be much better than anything in this post.

Cheers to 2014 and everything that it will bring!


  1. Oh my gosh. I'm so glad this happens to other people. You don't know unless you try something, but man I hate wasting ingredients. Why do people share recipes on their blogs/sites and you know there's no way they tasted good?!?! I do truly hate that you had some bombs though. And please please please, if you figure out that really good pancake recipe, share it. We keep searching for one and have tried them all and they just aren't the "best".

  2. BAAHAHAHAHAHA! I adore this post! We are usually 4 for 5 around here on keepers, but I have had some MAJOR bombs. I never had a rest in peace blog post about it, so clever.
    New to your site from 4 little Ferguson's, I would LOVE to have you come share some of your tasty dishes at Weekend Potluck on Friday. {No offense, but not these, mk?!} ;)

  3. I just did that last weekend with my attempt at tator tots. The Pioneer Woman made it look effortless and idiot proof! Guess again!. This post has made me feel so much better - lol! Thank you so much!


Made With Love By The Dutch Lady Designs